What a girl wants, what a girl needs….


Throughout this whole process of finding the lifestyle, learning that it’s not just what I want but what I need, and figuring out how we can implement it so that it fits us, I’ve been doing an interesting amount of inner reflection.  A “what is it that I need and why do I need it” sort of thing.  I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process and it’s brought me to a few really eye opening revelations.  Because it’s a great foundation piece for what any submissive/slave might need I thought it would be another good one to include in the first part of this blog.

There are certain things a slave/submissive needs from her Master/Dominant in order to maintain her submissive mindset.  I’ve grouped them into seven categories:

  1. Trust
  2. Communication
  3. Consistency
  4. Discipline/Punishment
  5. Praise/Reward
  6. Ritual/Protocol/Rules
  7. Guidance/Patience/Strength

Notice here that I didn’t say “Love”.   There are a number of M/s and D/s ‘relationships’ where love doesn’t even come into play – but the submissive/slave will still need the above listed things and any Master worth having a slave will give them.  Another reason I didn’t mention Love is if you are like me and in a loving relationship the Love part is a given, it doesn’t even have to be listed because it’s already there.

Although I did not mean to put them in any particular order if I had to rank them for importance I would have to say Trust is definitely first, Communication definitely second, and Consistency definitely third.  The remaining four will actually fluctuate in importance based on the state of mind and where you are in the process at any given moment.

I thought of going through each of the seven categories in this one post but who wants to read a 13 page post on a blog!  (Well I would if it was really good but not sure about anyone else)  So I am going to split them up into their own separate blog entries….sometimes lengthy blog entries and you’ll be thankful I split them up!  *wink

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